She could ///remember/// being able to disobey,but she no longer could. And it was not even a realization aboutwhether or not she *could*, but rather ...he understanding that never inher life would she disobey her Master. But she had not wanted tothen, and was no longer capable now, and could not longer conceive ofherself disobeying. Freedom from his will passed entirely from herunderstanding and ability and desire and all her soul.Then there came into her mind another understanding, or rather,. I closed my eyesas I had no tears left. What would life be like with no parents. Whatwas my grandmother like? When will the grief I felt in my heart nothurts so much?The next few days, I just was in bed recovering. Hospital food was notthat bad and I had my own room. My grandmother was there all the time.She fussed around a lot, making sure everything was tidy and makingsure I got my medicine on time. She was a strict woman. I wonder why Inever met her before. Did she not like my parents?I. "Ah bullshit," I laughed. "I write porn. It has nothing to do with art. It's an outlet, and it's fun, but it's not art." She seemed thoughtful and serious when she replied. "I think writing is an art," she said quietly. "At least not less than any other art." "Well, alright," I said. "If you think of my writing as art, then it's very, very dirty art." I laughed. "So, I guess your... characters, then, are... unconventional women?" she asked. I shrugged. "What's a conventional woman? I love all. Her boobs must be a little bigger than Neetha’s.As soon as I entered the room, she was shocked to see me there. She was not happy with Neetha for bringing me, I could sense it from her face. But why? Soumya used to be always happy and friendly with me. But now she doesn’t want me to be there in her house.I was sitting outside on the couch and I could hear talking. Soumya was telling Neetha that she couldn’t wear any dress due to injury and she felt shy with me in the house. Neetha confronted.
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