While that ran, I couldn't watch TV or listen to music. I had to just stare into the nothingness of death. Yes it was exactly like the moment before d...ath. I should know. I was the only entity, who had died and lived to tell about it.After the computer finished I went to standby and turned the music on again. That's how I spent the rest of the evening. The next morning I made strong coffee before I did anything else.Even though it was Saturday I rode the bike to Helen's Sit Down. When I walked. Usswaqt Mohsin aa gaya….. Usane bhi kapde badal liye the….. Ek kamar mein tauliya lapeta hua tha…. Aur baniyaan pehan rakhi thi…. Shayad yeh usake sone ka dress tha….. Usake haath mein tel ki ek katori thi….. Usane Naveed se pucha “Saheb malish karwana pasand karengey aap?”Naveed bistar par leta ek kitaab pardh raha tha…. Malish ki baat use pasand aa gayi…..Waise bhi jeep chalakar kafi thak sa gaya tha…. Woh bola “Haan yaar kar de thodi malish….. Bahut dino se maalish nahi hui hai.”Mohsin bola. Though not out of impatience. I just like driving, especially my car. Cruising my 240 is always like a little vacation. I enter the living room again and Ethan is still sitting on the couch. “Hey,” he says as I walk past. “Hi,” I respond and head to the kitchen. As I’m putting stuff away in the fridge, Ethan comes in, cuts open my case of water and starts handing me bottles. I force a smile and take them, sliding them in. I really try to keep my eyes averted, but it's hard. He’s wearing dark. I was not interested in sex, just oral. She said she did, and I set up an appointment with her for the following day. This was what I had been craving, so I was really excited about it. And I had never taken photos or videotaped any sexual experience I had had, with escorts or otherwise, so I was really looking forward to that as well. I set out the next day and drove to the motel. Not really the best part of town, and I found the environment intimidating to some degree, and I’m no stranger to.
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