. I really did think I was doing the right thing at the time." And now?" I realize I was pushing my beliefs on my son. But that leads to my current pr...blem. Now I'm so afraid that what I'm doing is just pushing my own beliefs on him again that I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I'm afraid to even ask him to include me in on any portion of his life for fear of imposing. I love my son, but I'm so afraid of hurting him again." And you're wondering what I could suggest?" Yes."Jarred thought. As she went inside, she saw a desk at the center of the room and went to it. She told the attendant who she was and was informed to wait in the chair behind her. Lydia sat down nervously. There were magazines on the table next to her. Sports Illustrated, People, Redbook, and many other magazines sat on the table in a neat stack. Out of curiosity, Lydia picked up the issue of Redbook. She did not care to hear about Brangelina in People, and she had the latest issue of Sports Illustrated. The. We just put out the word that we were coming here for a beach day and invited everyone in the neighborhood to join us. That gas grill of his is huge, and he brought thirty pounds of burgers.”What was I going to do? I knew he lived in the neighborhood. I knew what he drove. I knew where he picked me up and what he really did for a living. Why didn’t I know his daughter went to school with mine? What would I have done about it if I knew?I decided to ignore it, but, of course, those plans never go. For a moment, I fantasized about really being pregnant, about having a baby inside me, growing and moving, a part of my body yet a separate little person. It made me want to throw away those extra-strength birth control pills that Mom had got for me from Dr. Bonner. One day, I promised, I would do that. Some day. In the meantime I could practice fucking, nursing, protecting people, and walking around with a bloated belly. It seemed like a good start.I kissed Bud and rolled out of bed with a big.
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